Stay or go

Decisions, decisions… all I have thought about for months is whether there is anyway we can make the move to our little house in France before Brexit actually happens. I have read everything I can find to read on the subject both factual and other peoples opinions on whether its good idea. I cant afford to give up work and just go, it would be a whole lot more complicated than that. We didn’t ever really have enough money to buy a house in France, it just sort of happened (long story), it was something that I had certainly wanted to do for years and Richard either shared that ambition or gave up trying to talk me out of the idea. Anyway, with some help from our family and sinking everything we could muster into it, we did buy our little house. However we cannot afford to just move, we will both need to work for sometime yet and we also have a daughter bringing up three small children by herself, who we want/need to support – so, life is complicated.

Having read lots and lots and having driven to and from our house in Normandy many times, I could potentially move there and commute to my job in the UK on a weekly basis (Become a frontier worker, but I need to start doing this almost immediately). I could also potentially reduce my working week slightly to help achieve this although that would inevitably mean I would earn a bit less too and thats not ideal given the weekly cost of the “commute”, tolls, fuel and channel crossing, it’s not cheap. I am sure people will think I am completely cranky even thinking about this, and perhaps I am but I feel under huge pressure to do something as the “right” to be able to it slips away. I cannot express how angry ‘losing a right’ makes me, it seems so counter intuitive – maybe as I am in my 50’s my whole life has been lived through times where people have gained rights, this just feels wrong.

So, what should I do because time is just ticking away and currently there is a “lockdown” both here and in France making any kind of frivolous travel, rightly, impossible due to the CV19 Pandemic. So no little test runs. However, as I write this the situation is evolving, promises of vaccines and reduced restrictions over the Christmas period.

My daughter is very keen to make the move too, she sees this as an opportunity for a better life for her and the kids and from what I have researched they could all come with me as my dependents. It seems on my salary that I theoretically earn enough to support 4 dependants although there is no example quite like ours. She and the kids are a huge factor for us, if she didn’t want to come I think would just resolve myself to life here…..maybe.

My husband and my daughter are both able to apply for Irish Passports, Richard’s Mum is half Irish and already holds dual nationality so in some ways a move is less urgent for them. But even with this avenue into Europe at some point in the future, leaving the UK after the end of this year to take up residence in France will have its consequences and will likely be far more expensive in the long run. I could obviously choose to settle with my husband in the future if he decided to move to France but that aside I would remain subject to the 90/180 day rules, plus not that we have any plans to divorce, it is no longer “my right”. I do hope the folks who voted for Brexit know more about it than I do because I am so struggling to see the benefits! Too late in any case!

I kind of feel that we should just do it and give it a go, we can always come back, we are still English and we are not intending on giving up the little house we currently rent here in the UK, we (I) would need somewhere to stay during the working week. My husband is not quite convinced but as he works for an international company I also wonder if they might choose to relocate into Europe too at some point in the future. It’s all just a complete turmoil at the moment, I just don’t want to spend the rest of my life regretting not just taking the chance. I have written lists of the pros and cons – and still undecided. I spoke to my employer, thinking this would probably halt me in my tracks, but actually they have been very supportive, even suggesting I could work remotely some of the time (that would complicate matters even more as you have to pay tax in France on any work carried out in France, so I would have two tax bases although it would get me into the French system). And time ticks on…..

If I did move, I would one day like to find a job in France, I work in social care with older people, transferrable skills in most Western Societies, low paid, often undervalued but always in demand and I am very good at my work, I just need to drastically improve my French language skills. All possible if I become a resident before the end of this year, otherwise its far more complicated, work permits etc and probably not worth the hassle for little “semi-retirement’ job. So, the weekly commute might not last for ever and might spur on my learning, the drive would provide an ideal opportunity to listen to language learning courses. Plus other people do this, I have seen people looking to car share for the weekly commute from areas quite near to our house, so that might make it easier and cheaper.

If we did move it would be tough, the cost of living in France is higher I think than here in the UK, especially if you try to replicate our native lifestyle (hopefully we wouldn’t do that – we love the rural French life style even if that means doing without some of “stuff” we seem to think we need here). The house in France is still quite rudimentary and really not big enough for us all, but doable and no one is ecstatic about their living arrangements here in the UK either. The French house has options for expansion and its our house so we can potentially do that. My daughter dreams of having chickens and growing vegetables and turning our little place back into the small holding it once was. Remaining in the UK is likely to be tough too, we are all going to have pay for this Pandemic in the years to come and we will never have a place of our own with a little bit of land in the UK, well not without a lottery win. And do you know what, if we won the lottery tomorrow we would move straight to France.

Maybe I will just think up reasons for delaying the decision until it is too late or by the next time I write a post it maybe to say I have applied for my French residency – I need a sign! So if you’ve read this please do share your thoughts you might just help me tip the balance.